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Silence is a scary sound : and other stories on living through the terrible twos and threes

by Edwards, Clint, 1982-

Format: Print Book 2019
Availability: Available at 4 Libraries 4 of 5 copies
Available (4)
Location Collection Call #
CLP - Squirrel Hill Non-Fiction Collection PS3605.D8813 A6 2019
Location  CLP - Squirrel Hill
Collection  Non-Fiction Collection
Call Number  PS3605.D8813 A6 2019
Monroeville Public Library Juvenile Parenting J PARENT 817.6
Location  Monroeville Public Library
Collection  Juvenile Parenting
Call Number  J PARENT 817.6
North Versailles Public Library Non-Fiction 817.6 EDWA
Location  North Versailles Public Library
Collection  Non-Fiction
Call Number  817.6 EDWA
Penn Hills Library Non-Fiction 817.6 EDW
Location  Penn Hills Library
Collection  Non-Fiction
Call Number  817.6 EDW
Unavailable (1)
Location Collection Status
CLP - Main Library First Floor - New Non-fiction CHECKED OUT
Location  CLP - Main Library
Collection  First Floor - New Non-fiction

I'd gone to college. I'd written for the New York Times. I had a solid credit score. How did I end up here?

After his breakout hit book I'm Sorry . . . Love, Your Husband , Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales, this time from the "terrible twos" and "threenager" phases each of his kids went through.

His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect parent. In fact, sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day is thinking about when his kids grow up . . . and all the ways he can finally exact his revenge. Like leaving a leaky sippy cup full of milk to rot under the back seat of his daughter's car, or waking up at 4 a.m. to incessantly ask his son for a cheese stick.

With essays like Locking Doors Is Hilarious Until the Fire Department Arrives , Poop Doesn't Go Easily Down a Tub Drain , Dad's Never the Favorite , and Face It--You'll Never Pee Alone , Clint knows exactly what's "terrible" about the twos . . . and threes.

They start to walk and your life begins to end
That time my two-year-old hit an old lady in the face with a snake
The pediatrician won't do jack (but that isn't the point)
Poop doesn't go easily down a tub drain
Crazy decisions I've made in an attempt to save my carpet, furniture, and sanity
Silence is a scary sound
Unsolicited parenting advice and how I'd like to respond
I deserved an award for changing that epic blowout, but I settled for a sleeve of oreos
Things I will bill my kids for once they are adults (plus inflation)
Locking doors is hilarious until the fire department arrives
You know what's worse than waiting in the van with a toddler? Shopping with a toddler ...
Crazy things said while up in the night with a toddler
Toddler-induced temporary insanity
"The hardest part is keeping them alive"
Sometimes getting up in the night was the only chance I had to feel like a dad
Hell is taking a two-year-old on a plane
Let's take a trip to the emergency room
How I plan to get revenge on my toddlers once they are adults
Can we talk about hand, foot, and mouth for a moment?
Forty real two-year-old pro tips
Sometimes they really nail the gift-giving thing
Disneyland is awesome unless you take a potty-training three-year-old
If you haven't carried your child out of a store like a kicking and screaming surfboard, have you even parented today?
It's cool, sometimes you just have to bribe the kid
Threenagers talk a lot of smack for someone with crocs on the wrong feet
You aren't going to get anything done, so you might as well build a fort
Stupid questions I've been asked while caring for a threenager and the answers I'd love to give
"I'm done! Wipe my butt!"
Dad's never the favorite
Face it, you'll never pee alone
You will freak out over spilled juice, be sure to apologize
When it's your last, you can't help but play favorites
Once a child can turn on the TV in the morning, your life begins again.

Published Reviews
Publisher's Weekly Review: "Edwards (I'm Sorry... Love, Your Husband), creator of the parenting blog No Idea What I'm Doing, reports from the front lines of parenthood in this engaging and often hilarious collection of essays. Parents of children of all ages will appreciate (or shudder at) Edwards's tales of the years when a baby becomes mobile and life as one knew it implodes. Preschoolers, he informs the childless, can summon bedlam in ways no adult can imagine: creating a ketchupy homemade slip-and-slide on the kitchen floor, dancing in the soda spray from a shaken can, or puking into a parent's mouth. Intertwined with the comical tales of toddler-induced chaos are moments of fear and helplessness, like the time two-year-old Norah locked herself in her bedroom. As the hours passed and the tears increased, and with the locksmith a no-show, Edwards's resolve hardened: embarrassment be damned, he and his wife had better call 911. As Edwards found through his blog, many dads had comparably mortifying story to share. Edwards's observations--both tender musings on his struggles to be a good father, and dyspeptic grousing on lousy Father's Day gifts--will find fans in anyone who has ever tangled with a poopy diaper and lost. (Nov.)"
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Additional Information
Subjects Fatherhood -- Humor.
Parenting -- Humor.
Marriage -- Humor.
Publisher Salem, MA :2019
Other Titles Essays.
Language English
Notes Includes index.
Description 288 pages ; 21 cm
ISBN 9781624148538
Other Classic View